Suikoden: Reflections
by Kaesteranya
Summary: A look into the SuikoII casttheir thoughts, their hopes, their dreams. More to come as I write them. [Update: Kinnison, Leona, RiouSyujinkou, Apple & Pesmerga added.] [PROJECT ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. Author may or may not edit the past entries in
1. Viktor: Crossing Borders

**crossing borders**     _Lots of speculation on my part is going on as to what had conspired between Annabelle and Viktor... I wanted to explore the situation a little.  
    Timeline-wise, I figure that this one takes place before Muse's collapse and Jowy's initial betrayal.
_   
  
  
    If this had been another world, and in another time, we would have been together. 

    But this is reality. 

    Reality never fails to bite. 

    I admire you alot, you know. You're always so cool, so calm, so in command. With your very gaze you can already make those conniving bastards in politics grovel on their hands and knees for mercy. 

    You fight for your city and for your country with zeal. Your people adore you, and you cherish them as though they were your own family. Your strength and theirs is Muse's shield against attack. 

    Hell, you're just about strong as I am. 

    I think I love you for that. 

    But I can never have you. 

    Maybe I've gotten used to that fact... I used to think about it alot. I used to hope and pray that maybe something crazy would happen, and we'd end up together in the end. 

    I'd always wake up from that stupid-ass dream, whether it was sleep induced or alcohol induced. 

    But... 

    If that crazy something DID happen, I wouldn't care what others would say. 

    I'd cross that line that seperates us, and leave the rest to the birds. 

    You know what I mean. 

    I don't think I need to elaborate. 

    ...... 

    Hey. 

    I saved a bottle of wine for you when my fort got destroyed. 

    It was the only one I could carry. 

    I hope you like it.   
  


***

  
  
    "Where are you off to, Viktor?" 

    Viktor turned and flashed a grin at the curious Flik. The latter was seated at the tavern, nursing a mug of ale Viktor had bought him (his third). 

    "I'm off to see Annabelle. Don't wait up for me." 

    "Sure thing..." 

    Viktor's grin disappeared as soon he had closed the door behind him. 

    Wordlessly, he made his way towards the mayor's manor in Muse. 

    _Time touch that border once again._


	2. Flik: Lullaby

**lullaby**     _It is highly recommended that you listen to the song 'Lullaby' from Key the Metal Idol while reading this vignette (you can ask me for the mp3, actually… ^.^). By the way, this is going along the assumption that something really DID happen between Flik and Odessa, so there.  
    Timeline-wise, this can happen just about anywhere within the Suikoden II game, so I just put it after Viktor's since these two always seem to come together anyway. Call it a package deal. :p
_   
  
    She used to sing me a lullaby before we slept. 

    Sometimes, I'd see her standing there by the window, bathed in the moon's blurred lily light, smiling at me as though nothing had ever happened. 

    As though she was really alive still, with me. 

    I can still hear her voice. Even after all these years of fighting alone, without her... her voice remains clear in my mind, to my ears alone, unfading, perfect. 

    I remember the last night we spent together before those soldiers ended her life. We had spent the night in each other's arms, content with the few moments of peace we had left to spare before we had to fight yet another pathetic battle for another pathetic cause. 

    Her scent still fills my nostrils. Her smile still clouds my eyes. Her voice... it still sings her lullaby--our lullaby--to me. 

    But that was in the past. 

    Now, I sleep alone in my own room, haunted by ghosts of the past, waiting for this infernal existence to end... 

    Hoping that when I leave this place, the first one who'll greet me will be her. 

    I try to keep myself busy so that I don't remember. This peace unnerves me. It makes me recall the memories I vowed to keep chained away where they cannot hurt me. 

    I try everything... fighting, killing, training, drinking.... anything and everything to make the pain go away. 

    But it's still there. It hasn't disappeared. 

    Sure, it faded... during the first few months after her death, I thought that the pain would kill me. 

    When she died, it felt like my heart had been ripped out and tossed into her grave with her. I had tried so hard to act strong--hell, did I! But those first few months alone--without her--had been living hell. 

    But it's been years since she died. With this new hero on the rise and the Highland army to fight, I haven't even found time to visit her grave. I smile to my companions as I always do... I smile and I frown, I laugh and I sigh, I walk and I run, I command and I conquer... I go through the motions of living as a commander to a mercenary army and retainer to this army's leader. 

    But every time I step back into my room, I feel her there. 

    She will never fade away. I can never lock her away. 

    I can never let go. 

    Thus, her lullaby lives on. 

    With that song, I cry myself to sleep.   
  


***

  
  
    ***knock knock knock* **

    *knock knock knock* 

    With a muttered curse, Viktor pounded on Flik's door. "Dammit, Flik! It isn't like you to sleep in like this...!" 

    ***pound pound pound***

    Still, Viktor received no response. With a growl, the dark-haired warrior raised his fist to pound on the door again when he caught a muffled sound from the other side of the door. 

    "Eh?" dropping his fist and blinking in curiosity, Viktor attempted to listen more intently. 

    The sound came again. 

    Viktor's eyes widened. 

    _Is he... crying...?_

    "...." Quietly, Viktor walked away. 

    _So he hasn't gotten over Odessa after all._


	3. Futch: Draconis

**draconis**  
    _Futch is cool. Period. Humphrey's not so bad either.  
    Timeline-wise, this can take place anytime after the completion of the Futch-Humphrey sidequest.
_   
  
    You're a scrawny one, aren't you? 

    The girls at the castle seem to adore you though, and admittedly you ARE rather cute... 

    It will be a long time before you grow up to be Black's size. I'm not even sure why I've decided to bother with waiting up for that day. 

    But I am. 

    For some inane reason, I am. 

    After Black, I thought that I would never fly again. 

    Why, then, do I get the vision of the two of us taking to the skies as a dragon and his knight? 

    It must be fate, I guess. 

    When I look into your luminous eyes, I see Black staring right back at me. 

    Weird, huh? I mean, you're a white dragon and he was a black one (obviously). 

    But the resemblance is so clear... 

    Maybe it's my imagination. 

    .... 

    Promise me one thing, Bright. 

    If we ever do fight in battle one day, promise me that you won't die on me. 

    If you promise, then I will too.   
  


***

  
  
    Humphrey stood watching Futch and Bright on the battlements alone. He wasn't noticed by either the aspiring young Dragon Knight nor the wyrmling. 

    He was glad for that. He wanted to do a little observing. 

    "They look cute that way, don't they?" asked an amused voice from behind. 

    Humphrey merely nodded as Kasumi moved to join him. 

    "A dragon and his knight... how fitting." Kasumi smiled, suppressing a chuckle when she saw Futch reach down and pat young Bright. The two were sitting on the battlements side by side. "I think we're all hoping for Bright to grow up to be a real dragon. Futch especially, I can see." 

    "...Bright reminds Futch of his old dragon." Humphrey felt awkward filling the comfortable silence with words, but it seemed necessary. "Even I can't tell why, but I won't ask." 

    "Better to leave the answer unspoken." 

    "Indeed." 

    Kasumi chuckled softly as she left the battlements. 

    "Bright will grow up someday to fight with Futch. It's only a matter of time." 


	4. Wakaba: White Tiger

**white tiger**  
    _And now, a little something devoted to that most irrepressible and naïve of characters with all the fighting prowess of Jet Lee - who would have thought that it would be a girl?  
    Timeline-wise, this takes place anytime after you run into Wakaba and have her join your party.
_   
  
    I hate being left behind in Vorpalik. 

    Jinkou always takes me along, but this time was different, he said, so I couldn't go and practice my skills on a dragon or something. Did I hear him right? He said he was going to hunt down flying squirrels. Isn't one of those pesky critters in the castle enough? 

    Well, I don't have to understand him, as long as he keeps on fighting. We make a great team, me and Jinkou, pulverizing the scum of the State with his twin tonfa blades and my lightning-fast kicks. He's really strong, too, which is good because I didn't finish my training with Master Long Chan Chan and there might be some ultra-secret mega-powerful final succession technique that he didn't teach me yet. 

    On second thought, I'm starting to think Master Long Chan Chan doesn't have some ultra-secret mega-powerful final succession technique, unless it's to show me how to get food without paying for it. He never has any money, but I always find him eating! I wonder how he does it? 

    I'm sorry, Master, but Jinkou's so much cooler. He's got this incredible rune that blasts enemies with this shield insignia explosion that looks so awesome! The most I can do is kick a couple of white fireballs into my enemies, and I still haven't gotten the hang of it because I get dizzy sometimes after doing it. Maybe I can get a Bright Shield Rune like him, too, huh? He hasn't told me yet where he found it, because I haven't seen any runemasters with that one in their collection. 

    There's never any lack of fun when Jinkou's around, either. It's like everything in the world hates him or something because he always gets attacked when we travel somewhere. That never happens to me, darn it! He's some kind of trouble magnet or something, so when I'm with him I always get to fight! He's my best friend! 

    "Wakaba, concentrate on your dodging."  
    "Grrr… yes, Master." 

    You know, when Jinkou first met me, he thought I was a boy. The only reason he discovered otherwise was when we all went for a hot bath and Tetsu wouldn't let me into the boy's area. 

    Well, if being a girl means having to dress in some sailor outfit with a yuckky six-eyed rodent attached to your arm… 

    Or tugging some barrel-shaped doohickey to do all your fighting for you… 

    Or carrying some dumb books while chasing after some older guy… 

    Or being chased around the castle by some perverted horse with a horn on its head… 

    Then I'd rather be a boy, because boys have more fun! 

    "Hey, Wakaba, I'm back! I'm off to fight undead zombies and skeletons in a dank, smelly cave. It's pretty dangerous, you know. You could get lost in that mess of tunnels for years - unless, of course, some vampire sucks out all your blood first and tosses away your dry husk! So… you want to come along?" 

    "Are you nuts, Jinkou? Of course I'm going!" 

    Hiiiyyyaaa! 


	5. Camus: Embers

**embers**     _I formulated this with a good friend of mine (or rather, I asked for a suggestion and he gave me one), so here it is. The game (nor the ending, from what I have heard) really gives no details into Camus' past, and I figured that it must be something pretty cool... thus, we have this short(?) fic.  
    Timeline-wise, this one takes place anytime after Camus joins the party.
_   
  
    Elayne died today, ten years ago. 

    I was seventeen then. So different was I then from how I am now. 

    Anger was my greatest weapon. I did not care what others thought. I am surprised even now that Miklotov managed to become my friend back then. 

    It surprises me that Elayne could have ever loved someone as dark as myself. 

    She was like water to my flames. Somehow, I would never let my rage totally consume me with her at my side. 

    Her smile... it was so perfect, so angelic. It was my own heaven. 

    I remember her laughter as though it was yesterday. Her voice... it echoes within my heart. 

    She had always told me never to lose my temper, that one day someone I cared about would get hurt because of it. 

    I never listened to her. 

    I should have listened to her. 

    But I was a fool. 

    Elayne died in my arms today, ten years ago. She died by my own sword. 

    A fellow knight had insulted me. I remember not how, but he had. He had insulted me, and he had insulted Elayne. 

    She had tried to stop me from raising my blade. In my terrible anger, I heard nothing, not even her voice. 

    Through a blurred red mist in my eyes, I watched as I rammed Uriah through her chest. 

    So my anger had killed her in the end after all. 

    Elayne smiled up at me today, ten years ago. It was the last smile to ever touch her lips again. 

    Her last words... how they sting me, even now. 

    She still loved me, even if I had killed her. She forgave me, even as her lifeblood flowed away from her suddenly sluggish heart. 

    I can never forgive myself. 

    With her dying breath, she killed the fire from within me, embedding it into my sword. I can be angry no more. 

    Instead, I am numb. I am cold. 

    I can love no more. I can love none but her. 

    Elayne said farewell to me, ten years ago. A farewell that would last an eternity. 

    And I live on.   
  


***

  
  
    The rasping sound of a sword being drawn from its sheath broke the stillness of the morning. Camus found himself staring into his reflection from the mirror-like surface of Uriah's blade from where he stood alone upon Vorpalik Castle's battlements. 

    Now that he was alone, Camus was not smiling. 

    The Rage Crystal flashed a crimson light from Uriah's crown, flashing it's own strange brilliance to Camus. It reminded the former Red Knight of flames... 

    It reminded Camus of the anger that had once burned through his soul. 

    _"I... will always... love... you..."_

    Wordlessly, Camus sheathed his blade. With suddenly weary eyes, he gazed off towards the sunrise. Within it, he saw Elayne's beautiful smile. 

    A wan smile graced his own lips. A wistful smile. 

    _Until forever, my love._


	6. Miklotov: Honor Bound

**honor bound**  
    _I suppose that this is how I percieve Miklotov's honor thing, and what he probably thinks he's fighting for.  
    Timeline-wise, this takes place anytime after Miklotov joins the party, and fanfic series-wise it should be read after reading Camus' one.
_   
  
    A Knight's first duty is to that of his liege lord. 

    I am human first. 

    I am Knight second. 

    Therefore, I dropped my title before the idiot of a man I had once known as my liege lord for a young teenager years below my age. 

    I place my faith in him. 

    Do I do it willingly? 

    Then again, do I have a choice? 

    I fight for his cause, and for my own. 

    Am I wrong? 

    Ultimately, will we fail to push back the threat that is the Highland, and restore peace to this land once again? 

    If we fail--If I fail--the vow I made upon those slain refugees would mean nothing. The vow I made upon the lost people of Muse would mean nothing. 

    Failure is not an option. 

    But like any human, I have my doubts. 

    Is the only thing true to me my sword? 

    Is the only other person I can trust truly Camus, and the members of this now united State army? 

    Will we succeed? 

    By my sword, we will. 

    My honor is my life.   
  


***

  
  
    Miklotov dismounted, patting his horse when it whickered softly, breaking the peace of the early morn. 

    The former Blue Knight stroked his horse absently as he gazed off towards brilliant sunrise from the high vantage point his unit had selected. Shu had given the order for the troops to deploy, and Miklotov had decided to spend a quiet moment amidst nature's awakening serenity before marching off to yet another battle against the Highland. He barely noticed the shuffling of his unit of former Blue Knights from behind, men who knew better than to disturb the atmosphere any further by speaking. 

    From the plateau he stood upon, Miklotov could already see the distant banner of the Highland army fluttering in the early morning breeze. This was a battle to be remembered... if they won, they were one step closer to victory. 

    If they lost, everything they had worked for would end in utter tragedy. 

    Through the corner of his eye, Miklotov saw a messenger approach him and bow low. "My lord, Shu gives his signal to attack the advancing army." 

    Miklotov nodded, briefly closing his eyes to achieve the calm he needed before battle. "Very well... we will commence the attack." 

    He mounted his horse in unison with his men. Drawing out his sword, he kissed its crown then held it high into the air. In the young sunlight, it flashed a brilliant, encouraging light. 

    "For Lord Jinkou! For honor!" 

    _For victory._

    With that heartfelt shout, Miklotov led the charge. 


	7. Jowy: Pour Mons Pais...

**pour mons pais...**  
    _I think the title means 'For My Country' in French. Nuff said.  
    Timeline-wise, this takes place anytime after the Hero--Syujinkou, in this particular fanfic rendition--and Nanami run into Jowy at Greenhill.
_   
  
    Power. 

    The very word resonates such a foreboding aura. It holds such promise, such hope... 

    Such tragedy. 

    With power there is always a price that must be paid. 

    For many, it is the sacrifice of their lives. 

    For me, it was the sacrifice of my soul. 

    In order to save the land I loved most, I abandoned the two people who had ever loved me, or cherished me for what I was. In order to save the land I loved most, I took up arms against them and the people who had placed their faith in them. 

    I have killed and I have suffered for the Highland. 

    No amount of water can wash away the blood that coats my hands, for it is the blood of millions. 

    The blood of people who have every right to damn me to hell for all eternity. 

    Perhaps it's destiny that I'd face him on the battlefield... for the longest time, I have remembered being jealous of him, close friends as we were. 

    He knew what love was. 

    I was never allowed to learn. 

    His followers are undyingly faithful. 

    My followers are just waiting for me to trip and fall. 

    Still, I fight. 

    For my country. 

    I have no time for love.   
  


***

  
  
    "Lord Jowy." 

    Through the reflection in the glass wall before him, Jowy could see Seed and Culgan behind him on one knee with their fists over their hearts. 

    Jowy focused his attentions back upon the sight before him; the darkened and stormy skies, the distant cities. "Rise, and state your business." 

    Through the corner of his eye, he watched both comply with his cool orders. "Our forces are ready at any time, my liege," said Culgan. "We await your signal." 

    Jowy nodded. "Very well... proceed. Do not fail me." 

    "Yes, my lord!" both said in unison, bowing low as they left the room. 

    "...." Jowy turned back towards the window. 

    _The next time we meet will be on the battlefield, Jinkou. This I swear._


	8. Jillia: Providence

**providence**     _This takes place after around the time of Jillia's wedding to Jowy. And yes, it's for Jillia (another member of Suikoden II's wonderful female cast)._  
  
  
  
    Today, I will walk down the aisle to wed a man I barely know... yet already love. 

    Today, I will see my fate and become wife of Jowy Blight to rule the Highland Kingdom to war against the City-State of Jowston. 

    Today, I will lose myself, and I will do so willingly. 

    I lived within my brother's shadow when he was still alive. I was given the respect due to my position, but no power. I could do nothing as I watched my brother's armies ravage Jowston's lands, causing pain and suffering wherever they may land. I could do nothing when I saw my brother standing triumphantly over my father's corpse, his very aura resonating the fiend, the evil he had become. 

    Throughout my life, I have been able to do nothing but pray, and hope. 

    Not once have I complained. Not once. Perhaps my pride prevents me from doing so; pride is one of the few things I have left. 

    I have not complained, but I have hoped. 

    I have dreamed. 

    I have dreamed, and become a dream, a shadow hiding behind the light. 

    I hide no more. 

    He takes my hand, and it is warm despite the coldness in his heart. It is the coldness he has brought down upon himself, allowing him to fight past comrades, former friends. 

    We marry to further our own means. 

    We marry to find meaning in each other.   
  


***

  
  
    "Lady Jillia, the king requests for your presence." 

    "Inform him that I shall be with him shortly." 

    Through the hallways did she walk, drifting among memories and sadness, flittering across floors where light dared to spill it's grace. 

    Into the War Room, as she had done time and time again. 

    Her husband stood there among his loyal generals, discussing the tactics that would lead them to victory. They listened to him, paid rapt attention to his words, pledged their lives to a boy whose eyes were too old to fit his face. 

    Those eyes glanced upwards then, and noted her presence by the door. A secret smile and a gleaming glance was all she received before the coldness returned, and the warmth fled. 

    She leaned against the door, lowered her own eyes, and smiled. 

    _Someday._


	9. Luc: Numb

**numb**  
    _In my perspective, Luc and Sasarai are related... I think that Luc got tossed out of the family or something when Sasarai was still very young, and Sasarai doesn't remember or something. For some strange reason, Luc reminds me of Raistlin of Dragonlance fame...  
    Timeline-wise, this takes place before the second Sasarai battle (I think...), the one where Luc is supposed to come in during the middle of the battle and drive Sasarai away, or something.
_   
  
    I don't know how to feel anymore. 

    Apathy is a common thing for me... I've often heard my comrades whispering about me, about how cold I am, about how they percieve me to be. They think they know me so well... 

    They know nothing. 

    Leeknat must have sent me here for a reason other than the fact that this new shining star of destiny is worthy of divine intervention. Perhaps I should grit my teeth and put up with this strange little army? 

    Hmph. 

    Perhaps not. 

    Of course, I have not completely lost my honor... 

    I have, however, lost enough. 

    When I saw him on the battlefield, I felt fate's cold claws wrap around my neck once again. Bitterly, I realized that I could never run away from the past... no man can, should he be a lowly farmer or a powerful king. 

    When I saw him, looking at me without even the smallest trace of recognition, I knew that I had lost the private war I fought. Indeed, my parents had truly erased my name from the minds of all of the people I had held dear. 

    I have become a faceless wanderer without a home, without a name. 

    I bask in human company here in this mercenary fortress... it is hard not to after all, especially with all these people who know and appear to respect you. 

    But am I truly human now? 

    If so, then how come I feel nothing? 

    Perhaps the day I left my family was the day I lost my soul.   
  


***

  
  
    Once his feet had touched down upon solid ground again, Luc opened his eyes. The ethereal wind from his teleportation spell still whistled through the air, caressing his face as he gazed off towards the battle raging in the distance. 

    From his high vantagepoint, he could spot out and recognize every single unit down there in the woods, fighting for their lives and for what they believed in. Normally, such a sight would bring out a reaction--any kind of reaction--in a man. 

    Not Luc. He had stopped feeling a long time ago. 

    His pale-colored eyes focused upon a particular group of fighters... mages, dressed in the blue and white of Harmonia's highest order of sorcerors. Their leader--a young blue-eyed priest--sat high upon his horse, directing his men forward into the midst of their equally fearless enemies. The hardened expression upon his young face did not fit the priest at all. 

    For once in what had seemed like eternity, Luc felt a pang of emotion touch his heart. 

    "..." Luc raised his staff. The ethereal winds around him picked up speed alarmingly, swirling about him, tipped with raw energy. 

    _Now is not the time to remember the past._


	10. Badeaux: Voices in Silence

**voices in silence**  
    _Badeaux is another character who intrigues me. Hope I'm not getting any details all weird; I haven't even asked Richmond to do any investigating about this guy for me in any of my previous Suikoden II games. ;^_^  
    Timeline-wise, this can take place anytime after Badeaux joins the party.
_   
  
    Humanity is a noisy race. 

    This world is filled with voices, with unspoken words and wishes. 

    Humans are simply too ignorant to stop and listen. 

    It would do them good if they tried. 

    I left humanity long ago because they had closed their ears and eyes to the truth. I watched them die for their foolish causes on the battlefield. 

    I watched them die, still clinging to the futile hope that their dreams would be fulfilled. 

    Why then, have I aligned myself to this boy? 

    Even I am uncertain. 

    Perhaps it was the strange voice I heard from him, the voice that echoed past humanity's noise and through nature's silence. 

    It was the voice of destiny. 

    So many people have laid their faith in his hands. So many people have laid their lives in his hands. 

    He is no ordinary human. He promised himself never to let these people down. He has promised by the rune branded upon his hand to take up arms against one he had once called his best friend. 

    All for the sake of peace for humanity. 

    Is humanity truly worth saving? Are they worth fighting for, with all their ignorance and all their noise? 

    I never asked that child those questions for fear it would sway him from what he believes in. 

    But perhaps he is strong enough to handle the truth.   
  


***

  
  
    Alone at last, Badeaux seated himself by the window in his chambers just as two wild songbirds perched at his windowsill to sing their happy songs. 

    In the silence, he heard the secret whispers of nature and its resplendence echoing through the castle's grand walls. 

    In the silence, he heard destiny's siren-like call. 

    "...." Badeaux extended his hand. One of the two birds eyed it curiously before hopping upon his finger and starting its song anew. 

    _To preserve life, one must fight and gain strength in others. _

    As Jinkou has done, I will too. 


	11. Nanami: Siblings

**siblings**  
    _Nanami died in my first Suikoden II game, but after that I never did let THAT happen... rather humiliating, you see. ;^_^  
    Timeline-wise, this can take place at practically any point, though it's probably best suited before her 'death', or during the Tinto Village thing (Neclord's Last Stand).
_   
  
    Someday, we'll run away from here. 

    Just you and me, Jinkou. We'll run away together. 

    We'll run where no wars can chase us. 

    We'll run where no evil man can destroy our peace. 

    We'll run to forever. 

    I admire your strength so much, Jinkou. I'm always trying to tell you to leave this place, to forget this war... 

    Yet you fight on. 

    People need you, and you understand that. People have faith in you, and you never let them down. People love you, and you cherish them with all your heart. 

    Even when Jowy betrayed us, you never stopped believing in him. You never stopped believing that you and Jowy had stopped being friends. 

    You never stopped hoping that he'd come back. 

    I wish I had your strength. 

    All I want to do is run away. I can't fight in this battle... it's too much for me. I'm too afraid of losing. I'm too afraid of the consequences. I'm too afraid of getting hurt. 

    It's because I love you, Jinkou, with all my heart. I want to spare you from the pain, spare you from the tears. 

    I now realize that I can't shield you from everything, but hell would I like to try! 

    I will protect you, Jinkou. I will protect you from as much pain and sacrifice as I can. 

    Even if it takes my own life.   
  


***

  
  
    "Nanami..." 

    "What is it, Jinkou?" a smile. 

    He bites his lip. "Umm... I'm a little worried. You've been acting strangely as of late. Even Viki's beginning to notice." 

    She waves her hands. "It's nothing, it's nothing!" she kisses his cheek. "Don't worry about it, Jinkou. I'll be fine." her smile grows wider, sweeter. "Thank you for caring." 

    "...Right..." a last smile before he leaves for the Great Hall. 

    Her smile fades away into sadness, into determination. 

    _To protect you, I won't give up this fight. _

    This I swear. 


	12. Clive: Justice for All

**justice for all**  
    _Clive... is... in a word... awesome. I don't regret getting him at all. But that's besides the point. I'm writing this out after hearing about Clive and Elza's story, and it's angstiness (and reflecting upon how to turn it into a good fanfic or something). This is, of course, in Clive's point of view.  
    Timeline-wise, this takes place after the fulfillment of the Elza-Clive mini-quest. MAJOR SPOILERS ON THIS PART! Don't read beyond this point if you don't want that... and don't say I didn't warn you.
_   
  
    She killed him. 

    Therefore, she must die. 

    That was what I had once believed. 

    Now, I don't know what to believe. 

    For years, I have hunted her down. The flame of vengeance within me threatened to consume me whole. I hunted her tirelessly, ceaselessly. 

    I watched the few people I had considered as friends drift away from me as my obsession became too great for them to understand. 

    I spent many nights travelling under the moonlight, feeling my body begin to submit to the exhaustion, feeling my soul yearn for the day that I would end her life with my own two hands. 

    I collapsed so many times during my travels, only to pick myself up and press forward in hopes of catching her once again. I did not care about myself. Avenging the death of my family was all that had mattered... avenging them by killing her. 

    Only when I had stained my hands with her lifeblood would I lay my head down to rest at last. 

    She led me on this game for so long... so terribly long. Yet, like a crazed or obsessed man I followed her... 

    She led me on, only to hit me with the truth. 

    The truth that I couldn't handle. 

    The truth that I didn't want to believe. 

    The truth that destroyed what little I had left to hold on to. 

    Too much has happened for me to apologize for my crimes. There is no room for forgiveness. 

    I have been left as I am. A man with no purpose in life. A man with no place to go. 

    At day time, I blame it upon her... 

    But at night, the truth haunts me again.   
  


***

  
  
    "Clive, it's time to go." 

    He didn't hear her voice, nor did he see Nanami standing there, fidgeting uncomfortably from under the cover of his parasol. She stood there, watching him looking at the gravestone and the freshly dug mound before it. 

    He didn't feel the rain, didn't feel its coldness chilling his body, seeping into his immaculately black clothes. He didn't notice Storm lying lax in his callused and bandaged hands, didn't note the fact that the gun he had sworn to bring justice with upon his adversaries had never fired a shot when it had mattered the most. 

    Even in death, she mocked him, mocked him from the cold granite stone that bore her name. 

    _Elza._

    Silently, Clive sank to his knees, grabbed the dirt before the stone in his hands, and cursed the invisible stars for the truth that had failed to set him free. 


	13. Klaus: Mama Said

**mama said**  
    _Klaus is such a cool character... it would be a shame to see him go to waste. Richmond's secrets usually end up spoiling the mystery and intrigue surrounding some characters, and give me the urge to make up my own little fantasies for them.  
    Timeline-wise, this takes place after L'Renouille's liberation/fall.
_   
  
    Hello, mother. 

    How are you today? I'm sorry for not being able to visit you sooner. 

    We had difficulty reaching L'Renouille due to Jowy Blight's forces. 

    But it's all over now. You needn't worry... I'm alright. 

    I wonder if you and father have joined each other already. I hope everything is alright. It's hard to live on like this, but somehow I'll manage. 

    I miss you, mother. 

    I still remember those Sunday mornings long ago when you'd play the piano for father and I. It was before this war started up, during those peaceful days. 

    I was still young then, without a thought about bloodshed or loss. 

    I didn't know how to cry until the plague struck. 

    Until you left father and I alone. 

    I still remember how you made me promise to care for father before you died. The moment I promised was the moment you left this world for a better place. 

    I did not keep my promise, mother. If I did, father would still be alive. 

    Yet, perhaps it's for the best. 

    Now, you and father can be together again. 

    Please don't worry, mother. 

    I'll be fine on my own.   
  


***

  
  
    Klaus laid the bouquet of lilies before the tombstone, and stepped back just as a mournful breeze whistled through the quiet little L'Renouillian graveyard. He had come here alone; even Lord Jinkou had no idea as to where he was. 

    That he was glad for. 

    A small little smile touched Klaus' face; his first in quite some time. 

    "Goodbye, mother." 


	14. Sierra: New Moon

**new moon**  
    _This one is best read after reading the Klaus piece I started. ;^_^_   
  
    The moon is beautiful tonight. 

    It's hard to believe that there really is something beautiful left on this world... 

    Except for the moon. 

    Always watching, ever silent. Shining it's light down upon a sleeping world, upon the faces of those few who watch it hanging there, alone, in a velvet sky. 

    So many mysteries, so many unspoken secrets, so many broken promises. 

    The moon reflects all of that. 

    It appears flawless in true in a world of lies and deception. It's there, always watching, always waiting. It has nothing to hide, yet it conceals so much from our view... 

    A new moon has risen tonight. A pale blue ring against the blackness, shining in the dark in all its pale grandeaur. 

    Not many can appreciate this kind of beauty. They often take it for granted in their pursuit for gold and glory. They overlook the little things that really matter and go off to chase waterfalls that they'll never catch. 

    Humans are not interesting creatures. They are stupid ones. 

    The gods are indeed figures to be respected, but one thing I don't like about them is the fact that they wasted their time creating humans. 

    Given a choice, I would wipe this earth clean of humans and their filth. 

    Except for one. 

    For a long, long time, I had thought that love had lost it's meaning to me, that time had snuffed out such an emotion from my heart. 

    I have come to realize that time did not stifle the flames. 

    I did. 

    I did, to be sure that I stood strong against Neclord when the day finally came to kill him. Love was a weakness that I certainly didn't need to deal with during my quest. 

    But now that Neclord is dead, would now be a good time to lower the barriers I have struggled to hold up for so long? 

    Should I let him in? 

    He once told me that I was like a new moon; beautiful in such an ethereal way, hiding so much beneath the darkness, promising something wonderful beyond the void. 

    Will I rise to uncover what I hide to him? Will he be the first--and the last--to discover who I really am? 

    Klaus... 

    What made me fall in love with you?   
  


***

  
  
    Sierra stood partially hidden behind a tree, watching Klaus as he stood contemplating before his mother's grave. The new moon offered little light, a pale reflection in comparison to the lamplights in the cemetery. The youth had been there for quite some time now; he had not noticed Sierra coming. 

    The succubus observed Klaus keenly, entertaining her own private thoughts about everything and nothing at all. The light from the streetlamps reflected darkly in her luminous crimson eyes, betraying not a single emotion to the world. 

    Tranquil as the surface of a lake, without a trace of the confusion, the turmoil beneath. Serenity embodied, beautiful to a fault. That was who she is. 

    That was who she tried to be. 

    Yet, the one she watched now was the one person who could see past the barriers without a care in the world, without even trying. 

    He was the one who brought warmth to her stone cold heart, a heart frozen by the passage of time. 

    Would she let him realize that? 

    "...." discarding her emotions and the voices in her head, Sierra disappeared in a flurry of ashes. The wind swept these ashes up into the air, towards the void that was a new moon... 


	15. Kasumi: Invisible

**invisible**  
    _To Kasumi, McDohl's secret sweetheart. ^_^ Cheers._   
  
  
    Many suns have risen and fallen since we were last at each other's side, Sukune. The lily-scented silk with which I wrapped you still smells as fresh as the day I laid my eyes on you for the last time. Do you remember that day, Sukune? The cold morning when he left us, never to return? 

    "Captain, Lord Jinkou has given the signal to deploy."  
    "Move out with the others. I shall meet you in front."  
    "Yes, captain."  


    Again I find myself on the battlefield, commanding an army of soldiers who would give their lives for a boy not yet old enough to drink. No, I do not doubt his abilities. I have seen him in combat, I have seen him fight hard and fast and well. Only one other has been capable of so much heroism, so much inspiration at such a young age. You and I both know him. He was supposed to be our king, but he left us behind instead. 

    "Are you hesitant, my lady? Uncertain of today's outcome?"  
    "It is not wisdom to think you can win all your battles, Sir Miklotov."  
    "Indeed. But as long as I can wield a sword, I try. You do, too." 

    I almost envy the leader of the Blue Knights as I watch him stride confidently to his mount alongside his trusted partner, Sir Camus. They both rely on the force of their honor and the courage of their steel to triumph, and hundreds of men cower in their very presence. I, on the other hand, am a living shadow, feared only by the ghosts of those that the raking talons of Max Sakura leave behind.  
    It is the art of being invisible, the art of concealing everything, in which I have been trained from the day I first drew breath in Rokkaku. I have been taught time and time again that the brutish warriors and their heavy swords are no match for the stealth and the silent death that my people bring to bear. Still, I wonder sometimes, what it would be like to be one of them. Maybe, if I had known differently, if it was all right to speak my heart, he would still be here.  
    But I am ninja. I cannot speak because it would betray what I truly feel. I would lose my shadow, lose my hiding place, and I would be naked to a world that can never see me as I am. 

    "Hey, ninja girl, aren't you coming along?"  
    "I will be on the battlefield before you leave Vorpalik, Sheena."  
    "Right. Anyway, I'll be seeing you later, I hope." 

    He is right, though. I must go soon. But I do not leave without you, Sukune. Not this time. Your sleek red saya hooks to my back as if it were always there, as if somehow I was incomplete without you. And I am, I think. I have been for a long time.  
    Did I tell you why I tucked you away, Sukune? I never did, and you must be angry with me. I deserve that. And you deserve an answer.  
    Whenever I look at you, my face is reflected on the smoothness of your surface, and I see myself smile. I do not even look at my smile in the waters where I bathe. I have only seen it in one other place.  
    In the reflection of his shining ebony eyes, just before he disappeared.  
    He was the last man - yes, to me he was a man already, and more - that I ever wielded you for. Your saya caught my tears as they dripped down your blade. I knew then, that I loved him deeply, the only man I will ever love, and he went away because I could not tell him that.  
    So I swore to myself that I would never carry you again, not the way I carried you for him. We are bound, Sukune, but the part of me that could lift you left me with him.  
    Why, then, do I call upon you now? 

    "Strike swiftly and silently. The archers do not know we are here."  
    "As always, Mondo." 

    My unseen form flies across the blood-stained fields of Highland to the front of the castle where Jowy Blight awaits Lord Jinkou and the five valiant stars who will accompany him to put an end to this war at last. I am not chosen, but I am not unhappy, for I have fought hard and fast and well like the rest. Last wishes of good fortune and reassurances go around.  
    Oulan, Lord Jinkou's formidable bodyguard, nods and smiles at the self-proclaimed members of her "fan club".  
    Wakaba, the tomboyish martial artist who has become Lord Jinkou's best friend, shares a few sparring kicks with her sensei.  
    The mighty soldier Georg Prime and the ominous archmage Mazus exchange wary glances at each other before taking their positions around Lord Jinkou.  
    And I approach the young man at Lord Jinkou's side. He smiles at me, pulling out his black staff, which drops to the floor as I wrap him in a tight embrace.  
    "K-kasumi," he stammers, but I tell him to hush.  
    "I love you," I whisper in his ear. "Come back alive."  
    "I will." He kisses me on the cheek as I let go of him, and the gates close behind the future of this conflict.  
    Everyone is looking at me, Sukune. Everyone can see me inside out.  
    I don't care. 


	16. Kinnison: Rain

**rain**  
    _Never got to use Kinnison much until this last game where I decided to raise every single one of the 108 Stars to level 56… hehehe, yes I am insane. You wouldn't be reading this if I wasn't, now would you? ^_^v  
    Timeline-wise, this takes place anytime after Riou/Syujinkou gets his castle.
_   
  
    I never realized until now how beautiful civilization can look in the rain.  
    Misty shrouds against pine trees. Wet turf beneath my feet. A trace of spring eternal in mountain air. The taste of clarity in a secret creek.  
    The only world I let myself know, left behind for a world I wanted so much to forget. 

    "...'scuse me, mister..."  
    "What is it?"  
    "Um, doncha wanna go inside with your doggie? It's rainin' real hard."  
    "No, it's alright. I'll be fine here... you should worry more about yourself and your playmates." 

    Laughter tinkling, against the pouring rain. The children run off, splashing through the puddles, seeking each other out, soaking up what happiness they had in being naughty before their parents shooed them back indoors.  
    I wish I could have been that way, so long ago.  
    Was I ever young...?  
    I don't remember. 

    "Kids, how many times have I told the lot of you not to play out in the rain like this?!"  
    "Sorry, mom..."  
    _Sigh._ "It's alright... just come inside right away..."  


    Mothers. Predisposed to caring for those which they gave birth to. Bearing the pain of labor, with nothing but innocent eyes and a guileless smile as their rewards.  
    My mother was never like that. I don't even remember her face.  
    I remember her eyes.  
    They hated me, even as they left me in the only place I call home.  
    Father?  
    I had no father.  
    I had a man who beat me just because I had his face.  


    "Geezus, it's cold out here... whoa. Kinnison, what the heck are you doing out here?"  
    "Getting soaked to the bone."  
    "You don't mean that."  
    "I do." 

    I'm not feeling very humorous anymore, and I'm glad he realizes it. I watch the bear-like man as he shakes out his mop of black hair, mussing it up even more. A curse touches the air, only to be swallowed up by the pouring rain.  
    Rain. Always the rain.  
    It was raining when the world abandoned me.  


    "Come on, let's get inside and get some beers. My treat."  
    "...I don't drink."  
    "Well, now is the time to learn."  
    "..."  


    I follow him inside, into a warmth I cannot feel.  
    I always did want to learn how soldiers manage to drown themselves in beer-induced, stupid dreams. 


	17. Leona: Broken Crockery

**broken crockery**  
    _I always found Leona cool, even if she really didn't do much other than allow you to change your characters and all... forgive me, I'm a strange one. ;^_^  
    Timeline-wise, this can take place after Riou/Syujinkou gets his own castle, and when the Dunan Reunification War seems to be reaching the breaking point (as if it wasn't already pretty desperate all throughout the game...).
_  
  
  
    That makes for the fifth set of broken crockery I've had this week.  
    I look on as Georg and Humphrey drag off the drunken soldiers to the barracks with Georg glancing up at me apologetically all the way. Gijimu, Koyu and Lo Wen are all laughing their heads off about the incident in one table, and Rikimaru's too drunk on his sake to notice that anything happened.  
    Once again, I am the only sober one.  
    What are bartenders for?  


    "Gimme another Chardonnay, Leona..."  
    "Coming up."  
    "Charge it--"  
    "To your never-ending bill. Yes, I know." 

    At least she had the grace to look sheepish at times. Really now, sometimes I wonder where in the world Riou managed to pick up a churlish woman like Anita... at least she's decent with the sword...  
    The only thing I'm good for is telling drunken soldiers off and giving them a good way to escape from reality. Small wonder I have so many customers nowadays.  
    ...  
    Well, what do you know.  


    "Want me to call the usuals down for you?"  
    "Y-yeah... um, thanks, Miss Leona."  
    "No problem, sweetie. You and Nanami take care of yourselves out there... Lord Shu needs the both of you in tip-top condition before Greenhill."  
    "We will." 

    The young man in red with his tonfa and his will as his weapons. A boy who can't even take a shot of alcohol, leading an army to victory against a nation that he once called home, a nation led by his best friend.  
    I don't pretend to understand what's going on, but I know one thing...     If a blind woman in a flowing white cloak asks you if you want the power to change fate, laugh like you just heard the best joke in the world and say no.  


    "Whoa… Shu! What in the blazes..."  
    "Even tacticians need a break, Viktor."  
    "Klaus! You too?"  
    "Father always did say that I needed to learn how to 'knock back a few'..."  
    "Well then, if that's the case come sit over here!"  
    "Viktor..."  
    "Shut up, Flik. The boy needs to learn."  


    Scratch that. From five broken sets to six. Sometimes I wish Lord Shu wouldn't be so unpredictable. 

    "Leona!"  
    "Coming, coming..."  


    It's for those moments of change, that fleeting hint of something better, that I stay here and fight with them all. 


	18. Riou: Alone

**alone**  
    _Our beloved Riou/Syujinkou's thoughts at the passing of one most dear… spoilers for Rockaxe and beyond, so beware. R&R please.  
    By the way, 'aniki' means 'big sister' in Japanese. I think it's a more personal way of saying 'oneesan', which also means 'big sister'. Somebody correct me on this if I'm wrong...
_  
  
  
    _"The stars look so pretty tonight!"_

    Your voice again, a whisper just within my ear.  
    I'm the only one who can hear it.  
    I'm the only one who can see you standing there, smiling down on me in the way you used to, silhouetted against the moonlight.  
    You are a memory that I don't want to forget. 

    _"They're different from the ones back home, but stars are beautiful no matter where you look at them."_

    You're sitting beside me now, with your hands cradling your legs, your smile ever in place.  
    Still, there is that sadness in your eyes.  
    You never wanted to fight in the war...  
    ...In the end, it was the war that took away your life.  


    _"So many people are depending on you, huh, Jinkou? So many people… so many families... so many hopes and dreams...  
    "How does it feel, to be leading an army when you're not even old enough to drink?"
_

    I never thought about it much until this moment. I always knew the responsibility on my shoulders was one too great for an average boy to take upon. I always rode into battle with every life sworn in fealty to my cause written on my sleeves, on my tonfa, in my eyes...  
    I never realized how hard it would be, without you there anymore. 

    _"I'm sorry, Jinkou... that was a stupid question. I'm sorry if it made you sad...  
    "Don't ever be sad, okay? I'll always be here for you! We're going to win this stupid war and save all these people and go back home to Kyaro! Grandpa Genkaku must be lonely, with no one to visit him."
_

    Your ghost stands up now, holding your hand out to mine and smiling at me, smiling like you always did. I reach out, and my fingers brush air where your fingers should be.  
    Tears, tears as I watch your memory fade with the passing breeze. 

    _"...always be here for you..."_

Aniki... you promised... 

Why then, did you die? 


	19. Apple: Tacticians Don't Dream

**tacticians don't dream**  
    _This came about after reading this beautiful Shu/Apple fanfic on fanfiction.net called "Trades"... kudos to the writer. When will there be new chapters out? Please tell me... ;_;  
    Timeline-wise, this can take place anytime after Shu joins up with the Kismet Army (as I have called the Hero's group).
_   
  
    Do you know what my biggest fantasy was? I'd dream that there would be a massive attack from the Highland, and their strategists would be too good for you… because of that, you'd call me for help, and somehow I'd miraculously save the day.  
    What a stupid dream.  
    You don't even need me, do you?  


    "The Highland Army has positioned their troops here, here, and here. Seed and Culgan are among the leading generals, and some informationists have informed me that the general from Harmonia--Sasarai--will be there also. Luc, however, has promised to handle the situation again, so we have little to worry about on that end."  


    All of the people in the War Room have their eyes on you. They believe in you, and act as though if you weren't around, our army would surely lose the war altogether.  
    Me?  
    They don't need me.  
    None of you need me.  
    A little girl who can't let go, who can't grow up, who always fails.  
    That's who I am.  
    I begin to think that I don't need me.  


    "Klaus, I am placing you as head of this operation. Apple, you are to assist him."  
    "Yes, my lord."  
    "..."  


    Assistant.  
    Always the assistant.  
    Always second best.  


    "Apple?"  
    "I understand."  


    I just want you to see me.  
    ...  
    Perhaps I don't even have the right to ask you for that.  


    "The strategy depends on absolute cooperation… we cannot afford failure. We lose this, and we lose everything."  
    "Of course, Lord Shu."  
    "Apple, are you sure you're alright?"  


    Cold.  
    Impersonal.  
    Professional.  
    Everything that I am not.  


    "I'm alright. Don't worry about me."  


    I smile, and another part of me breaks and withers away.  



	20. Pesmerga: Shadowsong

**shadowsong**  
    _Pesmerga's such a cool character... the fanart I've stumbled across online makes him look like such a cutie too. I'd show you all some pics, if I could. ^_^  
    Timeline-wise, this can take place anytime after Riou/Syujinkou dear meets up with Pesmerga in the Cave of Wind.
_  
  
  
    It's in the middle of a provincial summer, and still I feel cold. 

    Born of fire, wielding fire, and still as cold as winter's heart. 

    I wonder... 

    Does he feel as I feel, or can he feel no more? 

    I am nothing. He is everything. 

    Two sides of the same coin, spinning endlessly, spinning and spinning as the world turns, spinning between light and darkness. 

    We own nothing, and the emptiness owns us. 

    Sunlight has always annoyed me. It gives life to every being that walks this earth, and every spirit that wanders the skies. 

    Sunlight steals away the energy that keeps me alive, forcing me to kill again. 

    The armor I wear is the memories I refuse to forget. I lift my hand, and my memories seek to cover it. Painted in the fading colors and the blacks and whites of the past, I recall fields of flowers that I once walked in, daylight that I once did not fear... 

    All that remains is emptiness. 

    Brother. Kindred soul. Stealer of all that I had, robber of my humanity, shadow of my existence. 

    Now, I am a shadow of his.   
  


***

    "We charge at dawn. No questions are to be asked." 

    From under the cover of his dark helmet, Pesmerga watched Mondo's departing back with narrowed crimson eyes. The ninja always had been unnecessarily fussy about battle plans and arrangements... 

    All around him, the soldiers who had laid their swords, their faith and their lives in the hands of a boy who couldn't even drink talked among themselves. Anxiety, fear, excitement and tension buzzed in the air, energizing the atmosphere. 

    Pesmerga drifted among them, moving through the room as spirit would haunt the humanity it once knew. Their voices rolled over him and around him, never quite penetrating the edge of awareness, remaining an annoying buzz in his ears. 

    In the depths of the emptiness that was his soul, the dark knight remembered the past. 

    _"You who stand facing death... _

    ...what price will you pay, to hide in the light?"  


    The darkness of the night embraced him, and he melted into their shadows. 

    _Everything._


End file.
